I am who I am

Having one of the worst period in my life - Mouth ulcers. I have to be extremely careful how I place my lips together to avoid hurting the ulcer. Food = Problem. Loss of appetite. Stupid braces just makes it worse. Have to drink lots and lots of water. Can't smile properly either. Damn.

I remember those days where I was really excited about days like Christmas, my birthday, Chinese New Year, National Day, Children's day.. (Am I missing out anything else?) Haha, just count in any other types of something-days la~ To me, it used to be days worth being happy about. I don't know why, I felt especially happy on these days. ^^v Maybe cos it wouldn't be a normal school day I guess. Otherwise, I would be receiving gifts from people. (Happygal95) HAHAHA! Something I really like is receiving presents! I really appreciate them very much. I don't know why, but up till now I STILL LOVE PRESENTS!!! :D KEEP THE PRESSIES COMING YO~ =D

Obsessed mapler - Hengbingchow makes sure my exp and his are the same.........  But HEY! Why is my exp more than him by 1? Failed at making it equal eh? LOLOL~

charlottelum.blogspot.com

This blog is as good as dead, but I'll update it anyway.. :)

There are so many things I want. Shoes, bags, cosmetics, clothing.. etc. If only I had all the money in the world! Hahhahaa! 

Random thoughts for a random day

School holidays are the best! Unfortunately they never last for long. :( Ahhh, I wish everyday was a school holiday! So far, the longest school holiday I've ever had was after my 'O' level examination.. Super SHIOK OK?! =D MID OCT TO MID APR.... HOW LONG IS THAT?! WOAH! THAT IS FREAKING LONG! I just realize that I had a 6 month holiday! LOL! Or issit I count wrong? x.x No wonder I feel as though I've forgotten my whole secondary school life. HAHA! During that period, I didn't even have a part-time job.. Whereas my friends and worst! BOYFRIEND HAD TO WORK! WTF! Lonely ttm sia at that time. Freaking pay as waitress super low! Not worth my time! And one F&B outlet didn't employ. Nabei**... But there were times where my friends and boyf went out with me la.. but still I felt so lonely and bored when they're not with me. LOL. I had no company at all... :( Only 2 idiotic troll rabbits who cause me trouble. GRRR..! LOL! I was so demoralized to work because I had high hopes of working at my aunt's office however, I was disappointed by the fact that my aunt could only pick my sister to work with her. *shakes head in disappointment*

Now, there's a 7 week school holiday. SERIOUSLY I NEED THIS HOLIDAY MAN. WTF AND NOW    I AM LEFT WITH AROUND 4 MORe WEEKS OF HOLIDAY. SHIET! POLY WAS FREAKING STRESSFUL MAN. I THOUGHT I WOULD DIE. MIRACULOUSLY I DIDN'T. This was the order of our project deadlines, Economics, GenEd, FOM, ITB, BC. Wtf sia, I HAD NO CLUE HOW TO DO MY ECONOMICS PROJ! Shannon was my partner but she had no idea too.. Luckily Sheauqin helped us! Otherwise I would've died. For GenEd, we had to make a video.. FIRST TIME DOING IT. Super proud of myself. *Pats myself on the back*. ^^ Did a video on obesity discrimination, I really enjoyed "Photoshopping" people to become fatter for project's sake. LOL. For FOM, we had to come up with a report... Was really tough, had to come up with a new product.. LUCKILY we did on teenage market and thanks to my brilliant self of coming up with some out-of-this-world product + my super chio drawing.. It was somehow a breeze... KIDDING. I SERIOUSLY HAD TO USE UP TONS AND TONS OF BRAINJUICE COMING UP WITH ALL THAT, + REPORT... STRESSED TTM. NOT ONLY THAT SIA, STILL HAD TO PRESENT A 60+++ SLIDE PRESENTATION. WTF. + Our group.... Like kinda disappointing leh.. IDK, Shannon and I were really disappointed. But luckily we managed to complete everything. FOR BIZ COM, had to do a proposal... I spent so many days and nights working on it... I contributed so much but then, I realised how selfish the rest were.. Hais, I learnt a lot from this... Had to present for that too, FORMALLY. Was super stressed. I hope I did well. FOR ITB, I guess I did my part, but because of my BC proposal, I kinda neglected this project, I am grateful to my group leader.. as I felt she did the most.. Hais, presentation was.... okok la.. T.T 

I guess poly is kinda competitive.. IDK for wht lo seriously. Why is it that some refuse to share their ideas?! Why so selfish? Disappointing though. I was told poly was project based.. So I assumed everything was TEAMWORK. But NOW, I LEARNT THAT I AM ON MY OWN. I have to thank my classmates for teaching me that -.- Seriously, without them I would still think everybody loves to care and share. How foolish of me..

I am quite confident about my PACC exam. However, my Economics are... shitty. As usual. SIGH. I hope for the best though.. T_T ZZZZZ tomorrow I'm gonna watch Resident Evil with bingbing~ ^^ *Happied* 

Anyway.. some random thought I had yesterday... I felt that my secondary school life wasn't really good. If I was given another chance.. I would like to change my past. haha, I know I can't though. I wasn't liked by my teachers. During sec2 my teachers wanted to send me counselling because they felt I was problematic and troubled.. HAIS. I was always caught for school attire and hair. I was always late for school. I ran away from home. I was thrown out of my 2nd home with my belongings thrown outside the house. I wasn't doing well academically during sec 2 and 3.. This fail that fail. My good friends I had previously were in the different class as I was the next year.. My clique suddenly abandoned and replaced me. My "used to be" close friend changed for the worse. I felt really lonely and left out most of the time. I had so many eye problems and had to go to hospital so many times and had to be absent from school. Cornea tore on right eye and some lump grew below my left eye and had to go for 2 surgeries. -.- I was never recognized for my talents. I felt that I was picked in band and was secretly feeling miserable all the time. Well, rants can never stop, so yeah, ending off for now~ ciaos

Blogshop Haul?

Ahhhhhh. I'm like having some sorta shopping spree right nao. I don't know why but suddenly I've become so willing to spend my money.. Grrrr.. Bingbing keeps telling me I've spent enough but when I go online and view blogshop's latest collection and all, I just can't resist! :'( The clothes are too pretty and totally my style!!! *Cries* I'm so broke now.. Really, I should stop spending already. :( *Depressed* I think I need to type in google "How to stop spending money" already... LOL!

Zee Hols~

Cheers! :D MST week is over!!! :) (My late night studying days are over!) I'm so excited and looking forward to the 3 week holiday! Hahaha, 8 weeks have passed since school started! And during this period, I've been busy to the max! Projects, Tutorials, Presentations, Lectures, Tests.... AHHHH. They're too much, really. I was fully occupied with school-related stuff every single day! My dark eye circles are overcrowding my face almost reaching down to my mouth already, HAHAHA! Kidding.. But they're really bad. I need more sleep!!! I only have 4~6 hours of sleep everyday :'( During this holiday I must really sleep well! Cos when school starts again, it'll be the same thing! *SIGH* Why poly no like sec school???!!? :( Damn stress y'know?! Which @sswipe told me that poly damn slack?!?!?!?!??!? **** Grrr. 

I was so excited about school until..

I've always assumed school life in poly would be a breeze, unlike taking A levels, which is known to be super tough, UNTIL I ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE POLY LIFE FOR MYSELF. 1st week of school is over. Phew. I really need this weekend badly, BADLY. I'm so stressed up. Zomg. (I feel white hair growing as I type). In school, I've to turn up for lectures/tutorials/practicals. Lectures are fine, you just have to keep your eyes opened and act as though you're being attentive.. However you know it clearly yourself that what goes in from one ear, comes out from the other. Really. I can't seem to absorb what point the lecturer is convey. He/she just goes on and on, not highlighting which is important and which is not. Gahhh. That's one of the many bad points I have to raise out. Other than lectures, I have been told that I have to do 25998723596235 zillion group works/presentations/projects. This, me no likey. The thought of doing those things scares the sh** outta me. Kidding. I just don't like the idea of that. The worst thing is that regardless how much I hate doing presentations and all. I. Still. Have. To. Do. It. Fml. I can't find the joy in coming to school anymore... :'( It will be super troublesome if you get sick during school days. Have to inform school and do many troublesome admin stuff. Unlike sec/pri school days whereby you simply just pass your medical certificate to your teacher the next day. AND if swaysway you sick and got exam, STILL MUST COME, UNLESS YOU HAVE A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT. Otherwise, you have to take the trouble of trying to get a retest. I'm not sure but I heard something about getting failing grades which I find unreasonable. Or having to sit in the lecture room to study the WHOLE module again just for the exam. It's really best not to be absent FYI.. :( Inserts one million sighs.

Disclaimer. Ranting part from now on. Don't read if you don't care.
I'm disappointed. I expected more. Maybe I expected too much. I really want an interesting friend. Preferably someone alike my personality. Someone decisive, smart, fun, studious, talkative, interested in beauty, fashionable, independent, someone I can gossip with, share secrets.. and all. But to no avail. Utterly. Disappointing. The people(closest) I've met so far aren't any of the mentioned. What have I got myself into again man.. FML. These people are so anti social, boring and UNDECISIVE. I really can't help it but to say it. I reallyreallyreally wanted my ideal friend.. not someone who asks the SAME DAMNED QUESTION EVERYDAY LIKE "Where to go eat? What to eat? What we going to do now? Where we going now? Where we going next? What to do?" And asks STUPID QUESTIONS. Those questions whereby I CLEARLY NOT KNOW HOW TO ANSWER COS I'M FREAKING A YEAR ONE STUDENT JUST LIKE HER. I'M SERIOUSLY FRUSTRATED. I NEARLY LOST MY TEMPER IN FRONT OF THEM. She seriously doesn't have a mind of her own. Her sense of direction sucks. She doesn't even know where shes going and where she is. WTF. When she wants to go to the toilet she doesn't SAY she wants to go to the toilet. INSTEAD, SHE ASKS IF I WANT TO GO TO THE TOILET. Go toilet ownself go la. Please hor. I won't be peeing together with you even if I have to go to the toilet. -.- I really want to say she's stupid but I just can't. Oops, I just did. She's got a problem with boys/ ANY OTHER PEOPLE. She is those kinda people that DIEDIE must stick with clique. NOT INDEPENDENT TTM. She only wants to mix with my friend and I. When we want to go as a class she'll WHINEANDWHINE, saying she don't like etcetc. WEIRDO. She's not from a girls' school btw. -.- During discussions she doesn't even open her mouth. She just sits there. Shamelessly being useless in the team with her eyes focused at another direction even though she's being prompted by classmates to contribute. It's like she's in her own world liddat. Dam scary and irritating one btw. WORSE STILL, I have to tolerate this weirdo for 3 years and HOPEFULLY BY THEN, SHE GETS OUT OF THAT TINY UNSOPHISTICATED WORLD OF HERS.

SP?

Orientation week @ SP was over just like that - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. An oh-so-quite fruitful orientation I would say. :) Many fun-filled activities and not-my-type games. I managed to make many friends. I finally saw the sun. I finally got to exercise. And blah. My class has this problem of girls and guys being separated. I mean. They don't wanna get along with each other. How. Is. This. Possible..? I don't know? Eventually, you'll see, things will be F-I-N-E. Actually, this is no biggie. Except that I hate the idea of backstabbing (?). C'mon.. GUYS? BACKSTABBING?!?? What the.. Holy ****!@#..

I don't quite like the idea of travelling all the way down from Kembangan to Dover every now and then. Daily. Y'know why? From my area to the west side of Singapore, it takes around 1hour and 30 minutes to reach! By the time I reach home, I'd be dead beat! I hope I'd get used to it real soon. I'd better be..

Oh yes, last Thursday, it was SP's flag day. It's my first time doing this sorta thing. I had to go around Bedok with my tin can asking people to donate.. YES, DONATE. Because of so many scam cases in Singapore, people's trust for this kinda donation events drastically decreased. I even got told off by a lady, FOR ASKING HER TO DONATE?? She added on more nagging by saying there were too many SP students asking for donations in Bedok. WTF. What did I do wrong? I was just doing my job. -.- I rate Thursday as the worst day throughout the orientation week.

Trolololol, dinner's here! Bye~

Randomness in 3, 2, 1..

Hello dead blog which no body reads and no body updates frequently. :D I'm being kind by updating you right now. You'd better be grateful.. And I'm kidding! ^^v I'm hiccuping non-stop at the moment and it's kinda pissing me off. Hmm.. I've heard that there are a few solutions to put a stop to these hiccups.

1) Hold you breath for 1,000,000 hours
2) Get someone to scare you till you shit your pants/skirt/whatever
3) Kill yourself
4) Just wait patiently.

I may consider doing number 4 because it seems like the easiest and less troublesome among the rest. Hell yeah. But if it still doesn't stop, I will have to reconsider number 3. Goodnight! All the best to me!

I see a lizard...

Things change, people change

This is a continuation of my previous blog entry - I FOUND MY MISSING CAMERA!!!! :D It was hiding in my drawer all alooonngggggggg!!!!! >:(

Well, the 'O' level results are already out.. **DENGDENGDENGDENNNGGGG**.. Satisfactory level : 2.5/10. I have a confession to make - I felt that I could've done better. I WANTED to do better. I EXPECTED better... but I was told to appreciate what I have scored because I did better than most of my friends. But still, some results are, DISAPPOINTING. For example, Principles of accounts. All my life in secondary school, I aced my POA examinations, I had distinctions throughout!!!!!.. But then for this 'O' level exam.. * shakes head *.. I didn't la. I got a fwreakin' B3. I bet I was THIS close to an A2.. :'( Now I understand why I people say..... "ZOMFGKNNCCBWTFHSCREWDAMNFUCK the 'O' level bell curve/ moderation...." I can't help it but to agree. *nods head*.. I've already chosen 12 different type of courses from jcs/polys and submitted it already.. I'M PRAYING HARD I GET MY FIRST CHOICE.. *fingers crossed* :(((

Honestly, I'm not THAT prepared to go to a junior college la. I've been told, "A levels very hard la, studying again very sian la, a lot of people retain first year, fail A levels, fail already no where to go, Poly better/more fun, studying no life, JC people no life." -_- I think I'm quite affected by these comments but then again I often try to remind myself that if I put my heart into doing well, I can accomplish anything I want. I really hope I've made the right decision for choosing to go to college.. Otherwise.. Neh, I shall not think too much. Most of my friends are going to poly.. So I guess I have to make new ones AGAIN. Holy... Not again. I'm afraid to open up to new people. I'm so worried I'll end up being a loner in which ever school I'll be going to. #foreveralone. HAHAHA. I'm very sure I can find friends la.. But finding a TRUE friend.. Woah, that's hard man.. I haven't had a true friend for so long.. IDK LA. My friends tell me that I've them to depend on.. That's really sweet.. But then again, IT'S COMING FROM THE MOUTH, NOT THE HEART (I guess.) -_- Maybe it's just me.. Hais. I hope we'll still keep in contact though, they're really fun people to be with.. I don't want these people to be strangers.. Like most of my previous friends... Well.... good memories... good memories......... :') I can't deny I miss spending time with each and every one of them, but things have changed, even THEY've changed.. This is life, charlotte, face it.

(x) Edited.

F**K my life, I din make it to college, problem solved

Missing Camera

Oh where, oh where has my digital camera gone
Oh where, oh where can it beee~
With its silver casing and its cute little string.
Oh where, oh where can it be?

Happy new year, pull your ear.