Today's the ninth time in the year that I went to school to study. :D
Hahahaha, I got used to schooling like instantly, right from the first day of school.
The timings for all school days, Mondays - Fridays are like so different from last year.. ENDS SO LATE! ):< Excluding Friday, cos it's standard. Like always, it ends at 12.30. In fact, it doesn't make much of a difference on that day because band practice is scheduled on Fridays. ): Urgh. I find it so hard to manage my time now that I no longer end my lessons at 1.30. Omg! I miss those days where I find myself being too free after school, gathering around as a group in the canteen, chitchatting, eating.. Yadadadada.. ): So many changes luhhh. One of the worst changes I'm facing and TRYING to adapt. Yes, my BOOKS! The books are so heavy & bulky now! So many things to bring luh. Even I'd give it a second thought about not bringing my books because without those books, I'm bound to miss out a looooottt of things. ): HatehateHAAATE it!!!! MY BAG IS LIKE A TURTLE SHELL LUH. SO BIG. AND HEAVY. Why don't the schools have lockerszxczxczxc?!!? Lol, nonsense luh, as if the school will be so kind as to provide us with lockers. :p .......... Okok, ignore me, I know I'm complaining a lot. Hehehheeeee. ^^
TODAY! Hmm, today is Tuesday.. o.o The best thing about today is that my bag wasn't as heavy as the day before. A normal school day. :D Oh, in the morning I got barked at, UNREASONABLY, and I was totally not happy with it. COME-ON, I know he was my secondary 1 maths teacher and he knows who I am. He assumes that I'm the same person as I was in secondary one and judges me wrongly. -.-! In fact, he misjudged me 2 years ago luh. Even on the first day of school, he hesitated to allow me to go to the toilet, he didn't trust me. He thinks I'm like some typical ahlian that will go roaming around the school compounds after giving teachers the excuse of going to the toilet. -.-!!!! OMG. Back then I urgently needed to piss to badly luh, but still, he hesitated, he asked me for my handphone, cos he thinks I'll be using my phone aferthat. BUT! I don't even have my phone with me!!!!!!!!! IT WAS IN MY BAG!!!!!! -'-(-.-)-'-(-.-)-'- (-.-)-'- ....... This is the problem of having the same teacher as you did before. It's really sickening. ZZZ! YEAR NEW? NEW START? MY FOOTTTT! This isn't even a NEW start at all luhhhh... Tsk...... It's just too unfortunate that I'm being judged from previous records..
First day of school, I found myself a lil ill, so I slept and when I woke up, my throat was burning and I had a slight fever. Second day of school, I had a bad flu, used like 5 packets of tissue and they were supplies from friends around me.. Ehehehe, I feel bad. X: BUT, third day of school, my flu didn't heal, so same thing.. Kind people were giving me their packets of tissue paper.. And up till now, the flu is still a nuisance, it still hasn't healed yet! Today when I was running my four rounds in the field, it was so hard to breathe in air luh, IT FELT SO UNCOMFORTABLE.... ~!@# And I'm a failure at gymnastics! D': BOOHOOHOOOOO!!! I'm not flexible, you see? Well, but that won't make me loose my enthusiasm. ^^v
Hmmm, CCA carnival was on Saturday. O: Had to reach school by 6.15, so yeah, was in time. Performperformperform and it was total highness when it was the drumline performance. Hohohoho! ^^ Ohoh.. And I'm pretty sad that some secondary ones ran away upon my approach. D: Tsk. What an insult! HAHAHA! I don't bite. :B
Ohoh, it felt so weird today. As in, after my class, it was already 3.30+ ? The band members were sectional-ing. As I walked past them, knowing that I'm not supposed to go for band on tuesdays, as I walked out of the school gate while listening to all the musical instruments being played by individuals, IT FELT SO AWKWARDDD!!! Mmmmm, something I have to get used to. O:
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Just you wait and see.
My 2010's New Year Resolution:
I'll show my dad that I'm better off without him!
School Day.
Homagawwwdddd. School. Is. Re. Opening. To. Mor. Row. AndI'mNotMentallyPreparedAtAll. ):
*Shudders..* Like after so long, I'm finally gonna hold a pen, open a book, sit in a classroom with a teacher in front, wear my school uniform, go for assembly in the morning.. So, this goes on and on and I'm gonna experience it, TOMORROOOOWWWWW. Hm, I kinda miss going to school for lessons though.. In fact I've forgotten how it goes. All I know is that sweet food keeps me alive in classes. Owell.... Heeheehee. :D
This year, I bet it's gonna be different, because I'm not living with my parent nor sister anymore. I'm living with my aunt, grandma and grandpa instead. Hmmm, of course the environment and facilities in my own house is better than my current home but the atmosphere isn't. Anyway, things aren't really going smoothly and perfectly for me in my life right now, I feel lost and lonely, like in a world of my own.. I also feel picked on, used and too highly expected of. Sometimes I wished I could find the right person to speak to. I told Ebi but he wasn't the right one, he just makes me feel worst by blaming himself. -_- So I decided that I should keep my lips sealed and not speak to him about anything troubling me.. X: Well, this doesn't mean I'm hiding anything from him okay?! After some time, I've finally realised,'what's the point' ? I've finally woken up and realised that all this time, I've been dreaming too much and hoping for the impossiblities. Even my efforts are put to waste - no one recognised.. When I rearranged my priorities, clearing off the impossible dreams aside/forgetting them and work towards new goals, that's when they thought I was changing for the worst... becoming a different person that I wasn't before, she saw me as 'problematic', sticking out from the rest and said I wasn't putting in enough effort and I had a wasted potential. No, she did not understand me she isn't the understanding sort.... She asked me 'when are you going to wake up?'... I couldn't answer her. The truth is, I've already woken up, and I see that everything is pointless, I gained nothing... I couldn't tell. I'm not as blur as what she said I was, I just needed time to reach perfection, but no, she said I wasn't putting in enough effort. No, you're wrong. I believe it takes interest to be able to do something well, in the first place, I was moved unwillingly just because I had a different background from the rest but I didn't have a choice. Now you see why? I was forced. But it doesn't matter, I got over that issue, everything was fine at first, I did all fine. And then... The unhappiness began. It was a different piece of paper I had to look at and my hands had to move more on the different blocks of wood I had to tap on from before.. It was difficult to find the right time to fit in with the rest and needed countless attempts to be correct. I wanted to give it a try. But one day, I was stopped because my previous responsibility that was given to another couldn't continue like how it was supposed to be. I got shot at. I wasn't given the change to explain. But seems like those people don't understand me, or perhaps they've expect too much from me. I'm not that strong you know? I'm a human just like you are, I've feelings. It's too pressurizing that I feel as though I can break down right away. Please, make things change, but I know you don't understand what I'm trying to say. And even if so, what can you do? Unless you're one of the people contributing to this unhappiness..
She's says she wants to speak to him.
*Shudders..* Like after so long, I'm finally gonna hold a pen, open a book, sit in a classroom with a teacher in front, wear my school uniform, go for assembly in the morning.. So, this goes on and on and I'm gonna experience it, TOMORROOOOWWWWW. Hm, I kinda miss going to school for lessons though.. In fact I've forgotten how it goes. All I know is that sweet food keeps me alive in classes. Owell.... Heeheehee. :D
This year, I bet it's gonna be different, because I'm not living with my parent nor sister anymore. I'm living with my aunt, grandma and grandpa instead. Hmmm, of course the environment and facilities in my own house is better than my current home but the atmosphere isn't. Anyway, things aren't really going smoothly and perfectly for me in my life right now, I feel lost and lonely, like in a world of my own.. I also feel picked on, used and too highly expected of. Sometimes I wished I could find the right person to speak to. I told Ebi but he wasn't the right one, he just makes me feel worst by blaming himself. -_- So I decided that I should keep my lips sealed and not speak to him about anything troubling me.. X: Well, this doesn't mean I'm hiding anything from him okay?! After some time, I've finally realised,'what's the point' ? I've finally woken up and realised that all this time, I've been dreaming too much and hoping for the impossiblities. Even my efforts are put to waste - no one recognised.. When I rearranged my priorities, clearing off the impossible dreams aside/forgetting them and work towards new goals, that's when they thought I was changing for the worst... becoming a different person that I wasn't before, she saw me as 'problematic', sticking out from the rest and said I wasn't putting in enough effort and I had a wasted potential. No, she did not understand me she isn't the understanding sort.... She asked me 'when are you going to wake up?'... I couldn't answer her. The truth is, I've already woken up, and I see that everything is pointless, I gained nothing... I couldn't tell. I'm not as blur as what she said I was, I just needed time to reach perfection, but no, she said I wasn't putting in enough effort. No, you're wrong. I believe it takes interest to be able to do something well, in the first place, I was moved unwillingly just because I had a different background from the rest but I didn't have a choice. Now you see why? I was forced. But it doesn't matter, I got over that issue, everything was fine at first, I did all fine. And then... The unhappiness began. It was a different piece of paper I had to look at and my hands had to move more on the different blocks of wood I had to tap on from before.. It was difficult to find the right time to fit in with the rest and needed countless attempts to be correct. I wanted to give it a try. But one day, I was stopped because my previous responsibility that was given to another couldn't continue like how it was supposed to be. I got shot at. I wasn't given the change to explain. But seems like those people don't understand me, or perhaps they've expect too much from me. I'm not that strong you know? I'm a human just like you are, I've feelings. It's too pressurizing that I feel as though I can break down right away. Please, make things change, but I know you don't understand what I'm trying to say. And even if so, what can you do? Unless you're one of the people contributing to this unhappiness..
She's says she wants to speak to him.
Friday, January 1, 2010
A new year, a new start
Back from the 4 day 3 night band camp. (:
No more sleeping in sleeping bags on the hard ground. No more bathing in cold water. No more being woken up by a bass drum, though throughout the 3 nights I woke myself up, it shocked/irritated me. Overall, it was a band camp you can expect, except that it was a lil different this time because I'm no longer with the band, marching from formations to formations. It's like a feeling of being left out somehow..
Anyway, I've always thought that being in pit percussion section was chicken feat until I experienced it myself. One of the many problems that's really frustrating is to move the instruments around.. Ahmad has already moved over to marching percussion so there're only 2 guys and 5 girls left, plus Carmel who was helping out a whole lot. Thanks. (: Whenever we had to move up or down the staircase, we definitely needed help cos we were too weak and can't do without those helpers. I find it really nice of those really kind people that bothered to help us even though they're not from our section. Sigh. I can't stand up while carrying the xylophone, not to mention the marimba.. Carmel and I were trying to be independent but it shows, we can't. Basically, we were trying to carry the marimba down to the first floor, we managed to lift it up but..... it slanted to the right and soon, it toppled down..... ): Luckily nothing's wrong with it after that incident. I'm still not used to standing so long while playing the instrument. After some time, my heels will feel as though it were burning up and it hurts. I'll hope I'll get used to it soon. The sun, yes, we still have to face the sun, it's the same. I'm a lil tanner than usual now, I don't mind but the tanning is uneven. O-O HAHAHAHA! Owell.. I don't expect much anyway.. (: Oh, yes, the angklung people joined us during the camp for lesser than a day and... they're reallyreally friendly, three girls especially, Amanda and Liana(?) and Shab..(?). Uhoh, I forgotten the third girl's name, but I remember her telling me that I should remember her name by 'Shabby', hahahaha, they disturb me like crazy in the fun way. (: They learn really quickly and refuse to give up. Right now, they're one of the reasons that I'm happy being in pit percussion. I can't wait until the next time we can play our instruments with them again, the following Thursday? :D
Oh yes, as it was the 31st of December that the band camp ended, 1st January was right after that day, so yeah, even though I was already worn out, regardless, I still had to go for countdown because I was already looking forward to it from so long.Went home, and got ready to go out. Ebi was waiting so long for me, he said he gave me up to 8, that's why. X: Had dinner at mac and went to marina bay for countdown after that. (: We were like camping at one corner... HAHAHAHA. Eventually, the clock striked twelve and there I was with Ebi right beside me, admiring the fireworks display, surrounded by bangladeshees, everywhere. Wow. *Cough. Coconut oil? Okay, though there was this stupid tree in front of me, blocking the fireworks, I could still see most of the whole display, it was beautiful, but that wasn't the thing... (: After it all ended, went into the MRT and it was FLOODED with people. Omg. Most of them were... -_-. It was damn stuffy and smelly. Finally we got into the train and I dozed off, Ebi couldn't due to some reasons. :p So yeah, Ebi sent me home. The end. :D
HAPPY NEW YEAR
No more sleeping in sleeping bags on the hard ground. No more bathing in cold water. No more being woken up by a bass drum, though throughout the 3 nights I woke myself up, it shocked/irritated me. Overall, it was a band camp you can expect, except that it was a lil different this time because I'm no longer with the band, marching from formations to formations. It's like a feeling of being left out somehow..
Anyway, I've always thought that being in pit percussion section was chicken feat until I experienced it myself. One of the many problems that's really frustrating is to move the instruments around.. Ahmad has already moved over to marching percussion so there're only 2 guys and 5 girls left, plus Carmel who was helping out a whole lot. Thanks. (: Whenever we had to move up or down the staircase, we definitely needed help cos we were too weak and can't do without those helpers. I find it really nice of those really kind people that bothered to help us even though they're not from our section. Sigh. I can't stand up while carrying the xylophone, not to mention the marimba.. Carmel and I were trying to be independent but it shows, we can't. Basically, we were trying to carry the marimba down to the first floor, we managed to lift it up but..... it slanted to the right and soon, it toppled down..... ): Luckily nothing's wrong with it after that incident. I'm still not used to standing so long while playing the instrument. After some time, my heels will feel as though it were burning up and it hurts. I'll hope I'll get used to it soon. The sun, yes, we still have to face the sun, it's the same. I'm a lil tanner than usual now, I don't mind but the tanning is uneven. O-O HAHAHAHA! Owell.. I don't expect much anyway.. (: Oh, yes, the angklung people joined us during the camp for lesser than a day and... they're reallyreally friendly, three girls especially, Amanda and Liana(?) and Shab..(?). Uhoh, I forgotten the third girl's name, but I remember her telling me that I should remember her name by 'Shabby', hahahaha, they disturb me like crazy in the fun way. (: They learn really quickly and refuse to give up. Right now, they're one of the reasons that I'm happy being in pit percussion. I can't wait until the next time we can play our instruments with them again, the following Thursday? :D
Oh yes, as it was the 31st of December that the band camp ended, 1st January was right after that day, so yeah, even though I was already worn out, regardless, I still had to go for countdown because I was already looking forward to it from so long.Went home, and got ready to go out. Ebi was waiting so long for me, he said he gave me up to 8, that's why. X: Had dinner at mac and went to marina bay for countdown after that. (: We were like camping at one corner... HAHAHAHA. Eventually, the clock striked twelve and there I was with Ebi right beside me, admiring the fireworks display, surrounded by bangladeshees, everywhere. Wow. *Cough. Coconut oil? Okay, though there was this stupid tree in front of me, blocking the fireworks, I could still see most of the whole display, it was beautiful, but that wasn't the thing... (: After it all ended, went into the MRT and it was FLOODED with people. Omg. Most of them were... -_-. It was damn stuffy and smelly. Finally we got into the train and I dozed off, Ebi couldn't due to some reasons. :p So yeah, Ebi sent me home. The end. :D
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