Much has happened during this holiday period.
Uhm. I experienced many ups and downs.

(Summarized)
First it was the bridging programme for the first two weeks of the November holidays. It wasn't really productive actually, excluding Maths and Science. In fact, I've already forgotten what my teachers taught me already. ohno..

Next, there were many band practices. Mostly 4 times per week for the month of November was bandbandbandbandband. Unfortunately received news that the genting competition was cancelled.. And I had a lil' bit of mixed feelings. Like :( and :) . So there was the ROD, money fly~ Bought this & that. :/

More band practices again. And there was the 5D4N genting trip. Enjoyed myself along with my group members, The Incredibles. :D Missed home though. Wanna comment about bowling. Never bowled before and team got first, lol. Did they calculate the scores wrongly? I wonder. Haha. Fell sick after the trip, haha, lost my sense of taste too. Genting competition was replaced by a concert on the 13th of Dec. Thus, our given 2 weeks break was no more. :p Still got many days of break tho, that's why I'm blogging and rotting at home. :D Concert was.. AWESOME. :D I liked the audience. :D Too bad my family members missed it. ): Wasted it had to be on a weekday.. Well, there's still a few more band practices and then the band camp!!!! Hahahaha, my holiday is filled with BAND. I'm jealous of my sister! I hate her! >:( She gets to work in my aunt's office and earns $7/hour while I get NOTHING!!!! While she works in the office like normal office people and gets paid there, I'm rotting and home now with nothing to do!!! ): She's so lucky!!! She's getting so many good opportunities while I'm missing them all! >:( Sigh. I feel quite sad for myself. Should I say FML? yesyes? :(

I feel so abandoned and lonely at home.
Can someone show me how to be more grounded and level-headed?!

Uwaah?! It's been quite long since my last update on blogger. o.o Nowadays people's blogs are usually dead. Otherwise, deleted. Blogger is outdated alr?! Zomg. Idon'tcare. I'm still gonna update as frequently as I can ( If i still remember about my bloggie) despite missing those times where my tagboard will be flooded with tags from my friends. Now I don't even have a tagboard! \(^o^)/ I find that there isn't a need no. Plus for a period of time my tagboard was spammed!!!!! Not my friends but some ahjipalang people!!!!!!!!! Dono where they come from one!! (-_-) So I deleted it lohh, teeheez. (Y) Well, guess it's just me and my blog webbie where I post&post and read it again in future, ;D

It's now the holidays. But as usual, like how it's been for the past 2 years, everything is bandbandband. Not really much of a holiday actually. BUSY!!!! Actually there was supposed to be a competition during the 5D4N overseas trip with the band. But no more.. Zzzz.. But it's still 5D4N... Gotta baaaad feeling. I'm afraid I'll die of boredom/lack of sleep/cold. I hate the feeling of coming out of a shower in a hotel room. Extremely cold. Sucks. No like. Hate the cold blankets cold pillow. (-_-) Why am I worrying so much? COS I'M AFRAID OF BEING COLD. ): Praypray the trip will be something I'll enjoyyy!!!!!!!! ): I hope there wouldn't be limitations to fun tho! D': Pray my group/room mate isn't some random people that I'm absolutely not familiar with!!! RAAHHH. I'm so worried. ): Worried me. You should just click the [X] button on the top right hand side of your screen and ignore my rants yknow? x_x

Nervous bout ROD dance. Stressed bout getting senior's gifts. Worn out by band practices. Headache bout many songs to learn. Trouble with getting outta bed.

On a much cheerful note :D The ROD section board is done!!!!!! It's so chio! I'm so satisfied. =D I even did a 2nd board to satisfy myself. >< waste of resources tho. Well :D Worth it.

If you do not mind, it doesn't matter at all.

Today I'm just another year older.
I spent the day just like any other ordinary day like this.

Wake up. Find my way at home in the dark, Usual stuff. Trying to be as quiet as I could, to avoid waking anybody up. Got out of house. Bused. Walked. Shoes were damp because of rain. Spent time in school. Dismissal at 3.30. Walked the usual, "faraway" bus stop. Waited. Bored. Went to petal mac. Ate. Went home. Slept. Woke up. Dinner. Usual stuff. And now it's 11.28pm already.

I appreciate those birthday wishes. Though some forgotten. Not even a word from my parents. I feel kinda disappointed. However, this year's better than the last. I got to celebrate it on the 16th. But, I'm still unsatisfied and sad somehow. Owell. Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so I might as well be happy. (:

Awesome day! (｡･ ω･｡)

P.S, birthday celebration in advance :D
* Actual one's on the 21 Oct!

Yesterday, met my HengBingBing dardar in the afternoon. ^^ Went to bedok inter, kfc for our lunch and went back home after that to get changed and do my stuff. (: At home, Aunts and Uncles started coming over to prepare the things for the bbq while poor HengBingBing couldn't decide whether to come in so he waited downstairs. ): He waited real long oh. Kelian~ Well, when everything was ready, it's time to go to the bbq pit at my aunt's house. My aunts took HengBingBing away from me and drove him over to my grandmother's house first while I went over to the bbq pit. :p Hehez.

@the Bbq pit, it was super stuffy and warm! Made me perspire so much and ended up sticky! ): HengBingBing & my aunts came over shortly after. And we went swimming!!!!!! :D Solved the hot weather problem. (: Me, HengBingBing, me sis & lil cousin! Poor Gabriel had to sit there arnd watch us have fun. x: Charmaine's fault for not informing him about swimming!!!!


Bryan, JingYi & Aron came first, followed by Vania & Jianhao, then Haslinda!! \(Y)/ Me's really glad they turned up! (^^)v Aron & Bryan also swam! ^~^ Had lotsa fun! Ate awhile and went back swimming again. Played with sparklers, something not so awesome happened. ._. Got kaypoh people that totally spoilt the mood! :@ Totally upset luhh! )': Well, got cheered a lil and sang the birthday song! +CAKEEE!!!! <333




People ate the cake till no more. Especially HengBingBing, who kept forcing himself to eat! Not only the cake! ): I wonder if he's gained weight. ?_? He claims he can eat a lot. >< Well, it's because there were still people who's thought of to be coming didn't turn up so there were still leftovers. Owell. :D I enjoyed myself a lot! It was a successful bbq indeed. :D

Aunt Elsie sent me and HengBingBing home. (: Parents went back first. Sister went with Aunt Pris & Gabriel. ^^ Was Soooo sleepy yesterday!~~ Reached home around 12+ ThumbsUP!

Day 830. ♥

Time was spent in a pretty much productive way today.
Well, since the final year examinations are already here, we revised.
From 12pm to 6pm, close to that, of course. Then, I had to go off without him.
Celebrated Aunt Priscillia's birthday in advance with Aunt Elsie, My Grandmother, Grandfather, Uncle, in addition, Charmaine & Gabriel. Food was to my likings. Yummyyummy. (:

Byebye!

♥ Happy 27th monthsary!!!

Wahahahaaa! Another month has passed! Look how quickly time passes!!!! Soon 2010 will just pass by just like that and before you know it, 2012 will come... and that means, DOOMSDAY!!@#$%#$ Do YOU believe doomsday will ever come in 2012?! I don't. Cos I have stuff that expires in 2013. (-_-) & If I die in 2012, I'll regret going to school to study. /: It would be a waste of time. :p Anyways, today was another awesome-awesome day with HengBingBing. Meh, I srsly couldn't wake myself up early today tho. ><


Well, went to Tamp cos it's the nearest and most convenient place, for a movie. :p Wanted to catch Alpha & Omega but don't have! There was only the 7+ slot. Obviously we wouldn't wait for nuts. O.O I don't think we could spent our time in TAMPINES for 6 hours anyways, nth much there. :D So yeah, ended up watching a chinese movie.. nc16 again. LOL. Went to popeyes for lunch and went in the movie theatre. There was this advertisement of a horror movie and it successfully spooked me out to tears. D:


What I can comment on is that the movie was really full of violence. Hahahas, bused back. Day ended quickly. (: but I enjoyed my time with HengBingBing today. ^^v Did not really go out too long tho, cos the examinations are coming. Zzzz.. Went back home to read my books. First paper's on Monday - English, followed by Mother Tongue on Tuesday. Zzzz. Celebrating my birthday in advance on the 16th, which is a Saturday. And on the following Monday, there'll be my chemistry paper and my Principles of Accounts paper 2. T0T Then the EOYs will end. Is it a bad date? T-T Zzzz, bleah. No time to worry for this issue.

Laugh at it.

Six Minus Two. Four.

Absolutely Kawaii ^^!
Eight8Hundred-00.

Some day I'd like to spend time alone, recapture the past and indulge myself in memories. I'd like to remember the times spent with those people who's been part of my life or even those who's come and gone. I can say, much have changed since I was in kindergarten and primary school, of course.. But even in secondary school, here and there you can see changes. Life is truly a roller coaster ride. I can't seem to remain successful for long and lucky thing I don't remain a looser down there repeating "FML" for long too. (: Life as a 15 year old is ah, somehow manageable however I think something's wrong with me. I think I have advanced sleep phase syndrome? like srsly?!@ Hahahaha, I hope not. -_- I really do sleep at 6-7 pm on school days only weekends/ non-school days are exceptional, I don't know why. Maybe I'm really a pig. Haa,

Watched Resident Evil: Afterlife with HengBingBing @ iluma today. A total freaky show with lots and lots of ZOMBIES?!?.. O.O Mmmm, awesome show. *Thumbs up* Uh-hum, NC 16 movie again. (-.-)v I've got no idea why... Violence? o.o

It's late oredy & I'm very tired. Not gonna upload photos. :p I'm sian-ed and (-.-!) of lousy Sony Erisson cables. Uploading photos is very tedious. You have to squeeze the cable to the phone as hard as you can in order to get it connected. Urgh. Not today man!!!

Ulcer on lower lip that is killing me!!!!!

" Learn from yesterday,
Live for today,
Hope for tomorrow. "
Hellohelloooo!!! Today was a great day. :D I woke up, did the usual wash up and switched on the television. On the television screen, it was channel OKTO! (LOL.) :D 8am in the morning and it's showing.... SESAME STREET!! WHEEHEE! ^^v And there was cookie monster acting like elmo. :p Instead of elmo's goldfish, it was a cookie. He talked to the cookie, ate the cookie and even sang the 'COOKIE SONG'!!!!!!! :D :D :D Yadadada! heehee, ignore my lameness please. :D

Supposed to meet Mr HengBingBing @ 12 but I was late. x_x Well, he pinched my poor and sensitive nose!!!! ): DAMN ANNOYING LUH. Zzzzzzz... In fact he pinched it so many times today that at the end of the day, my nose was leaking. ): Of all things y'know? Must bully my pitiful nose.. ): Sob.. Sobxzs... Anyway, went to Tamp eat and to watch "Vampire Sucks". I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw NC16.. (I'M NOT EVEN SIXTEEN YEARS OOOOLD!) -_-!!! lawll. Went in anyway. It's a show that I've been waiting for so long!!! HOW CAN I NOT SEEE ITTTT!!!! D: My school taught me: "Perseverance yields success." And so I've been inculcated the belief of PERSEVERANCE!!! X: *clapclap*.. Anyway, it was such a comedy!! How can it be NC16?!? THERE MUST BE AN ERROR! ( I suppose. ) Bleah. After the show, walk, walked. We went to take bus 67. Missed the stop because something happened and dono where it took us but I know there were many indians in the bus..... Was really scary. Alighted at some stop that I've never been before and looked for a bus back to my home!!! Was so sleepy and hungry at that moment of time. GOsh, can die!!! And after a loooong walk, finally found what I wanted. PlahPlahPlah... TADA!!!! HOME SWEET HOME! Parents weren't at home so I had to cook for myself. )':

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Update on my life:

Regarding school, well, gonna have to buck up on mathematics. Can't believe I failed English. -_- That's the consequence of being absent from school and not knowing the assignments that were handed in!!!! OMFG! I hate it when they grade you by assignments! However, it has also beneficial points. :D like.. I PASSED MY SCIENCE WITH A 62.5% LOL. NOT BAD FOR ME LEYH! There's SO MUCH IMPROVEMENT OK?! from 30+ to 60++ :D But I don't know how I'm gonna pass for my final year luh, my science sucks!!!! ): Well, I scored 68% for my CHINESE!!!! CAN'T YOU BELIEVE IT?! IT'S CHINESE!!!!!!!!! I totally OWNED my chinese class! X: HAHAHA! ALmost unbelievable. SS will be 74, History idk, POA 86, D and T 78 (owned D&T students. :p ), so on and so for. Most disappointing is my mathematics and ENGLISH!!!! -'- SCORED ONLY B4 FOR MATHS. ): It's so lousy! ): AND MY ENGLISH TOTALLY PULLED UP MY L1R4 or 5!!!! I WORK HARDER IN TERM 4!

Regarding band, it's so much funner and enjoyable than when I was in PP! Wahahahaha! I'm so happee. :D Playing Fate of the Gods and El Camino Real. :D El Camino makes my ring finger spasm. ): Urgh, real challenging indeed. Definitely will work hard cos I don't wanna play fate of the gods. Though it's a nice song, it's boring, right? x_x

Tata! Goodnight people! Enjoy your weekend!

Parts & Parcels of My Life

So today is the day where secondary school students will make this special effort to go back to their previous schools. Mmm... Haven't had any contact with my primary school mates for soooo long till yesterday night on MSN, well, I do not have a FB account.. Anti-social luh, heh. Went over to MBS after school and there were my ex-schoolmates. :') Aww, mizz them so much. LOL. Funny thing is that all of us did not even bother contacting each other during any other time of the year! See the irony? Hahahaa.. Owell, I miss my school, very different from PingYi indeed. (Eg. Lifts, BETTER canteen food, bigger school.. ) Tsk, haiyo, how come I ended up in PY with a PSLE aggregate of 205.. -_- *shakes head*..

Pei Shin, Si Yi and I

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Hahahaha, I enjoy days without school cos I'm so sick of carrying my "turtle shell" here and there. Really heavy y'know? ): I keep thinking to myself that my bag is filled with stones but when I open it, it's actually books.. Ohmy. -_- Maybe I really shouldn't bring my books to school. ): ALL of the pictures below (regarding this particular post) actually represents FREEDOM. :D Just like a bird spreading it's wings and soaring up the blue, blue sky. Heh heh. ^^v

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Concert @ zee Esplanade on the 15th August 2010

Well. This day is another day which will be part of my memory. IT WAS MY FIRST TIME LISTENING AND VIEWING AN ORCHESTRA FOR REAL!!!!!!!! Actually it's the reason why I even went for that concert. :p I could see manymanyMANY string instruments and funny thing is that their movement is very exaggerating and yet I hear no sound coming out. :x Is it me or...? x_x Ohwell, nevermind that rhetorical question. GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE! TMR IS A HOLIDAY!!!!! PIG AS LONG AS YOU LIKE.

Sometimes I really don't know what people are really thinking. Knowing and understanding consequences and yet.. Not doing the right thing. Funny. One word to describe the TWO pairs - 'Foolish'. I don't know, I really don't know what's up with them. Regarding one of the two, the FEMALE is bugging and blaming me for her own wrongdoings, accusing me of spreading rumors about them. -.- She's blaming everyone but herself for making it so obvious herself. And when she finds out, she only gets to the surface of the sea. ONLY. She does not see the whole thing. What is her problem like seriously? -.- This is totally pissing me off. If they wanna be together why must they deny OR hide? Haha, then now SHE blames me, hilarious to the max! Tsktsk, can't stand these type of people who has guilty conscious and yet hides behind a computer screen saying things to me that she dares not say in school IN MY FACE. Sigh.. In the first place, if she was so afraid they'll get into trouble, why go steady and now say I'm "interfering into their business", "this is none of my concern", yadadadada or "people's relationships is none of your business". This situation angers me, FRUSTRATES ME. This is OF MY CONCERN as I do not want to see the CULTURE what I've been for almost 3 years to change. I feel it is NOT right for someone who's supposed to represent us.. and HER. Now she can say nothing is happening between the both of them and before that she said not to tell anyone else about it. Hahaha, what is this?! The other pair is more careful but, I don't know how much longer their secret can last.

Lesson learnt: Don't trust anybody. (:

*EDITED*


LOL! LOOK WHAT I've just found!!!!! HER FATHER POSTING THIS ON FB! HER FATHER ADMITTED FOR HER THAT THEY'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP!!!! Waitwaitwaitiwait, is this an insult? I'm messing her life? In what way? Hahahhas, people these days? He should really look at himself in the mirror. LOL! I don't find him a better person that me. (btw, he's just quoting this from me - COPYCAT) LOL. He doesn't understands what's going on, ONLY listens to her daughters point of view and not mine. And lol, I was just explaining myself of msn? -_- This man can't bring justice. tsktsk. Look, i've ended my conversation with HIS daughter and now WHY MUST HE START IT BACK? lol.. and then the cycle goes on and on. LOL. Don't force me.

Eff-Em-Ell. If only...

I did not expect this time of my life to be so troublesome and burdening. I know I'll get a depression from THIS particular, problematic issue. Very problematic indeed and put it in a bad way, it's totally pissing me off. For WEEKS! More than a month.. It's been like this already, they'll be ones who never fails to bug me all day long.

These people are the ones who's made my life so stressful and such a headache. I don't know what's their goal or whatsoever. Each time, I've been obedient, just for the reason of making them LEAVE ME ALONE AND stop finding more trouble for me.. But being OBEDIENT does not pay off. It is POINTLESS, P-O-I-N-T-L-E-S-S!!!! - that they don't see. Absolutely disheartening. Makes me feel as though I can no longer move on any further.. They don't even trust me? What is the point?

Even threatened to leave me out out of some events which makes me feel not of any use at all to all of you. Yes, you and the rest of you can carry on WITHOUT me, you don't need me in fact.. That is the ugly truth. However, I'd hope you hadn't make it so clear, making me feel bad. I no longer count this as caring and concerned, I call this, threatening. I need to clear my mind.. Luckily, there are still people out there who're there for me. I've figured out the people I can rely on. The ones who I can trust and the ones who trusts me. I'm very grateful to whoever that has tried or did cheer me up, who has turned my frown upside down. Even to those who has offered tissue paper to me when I was crying. A BIG THANK YOU to all of you!!! (:

A relaxing and enjoyable Saturday today. Finally a day without problems. Went to iluma to watch "SALT", a very action-packed movie with HengBingBing. (: And then MRTed to DhobyGhaut for his interview. Had lunch there too, followed by the veryvery long wait for his turn. I really needed today very much, I needed a break.. (: Thank you for today HengBingBing. (: Well, I'll hope tomorrow will be a good day too. Gonna go for a concert at Esplanade with the band members. Meeting my section mates for lunch first! (: Excluding Ashima who's fasting.. /: Pitypity..

Goodnight people! My tagboard is spammed with unknown people. (-.-)

Heez. Me is proud to announce to you people out there that me, finally dropped all me's milk teeth (baby teeth)!!!! Uwahahahahaha!!!! Meh~ I know it's nothing much of a biggie to you, you nor you but I'm just gonna blog it out anyway~ Haaas. Just got the last one out today!! :D :D Clapclap? (:

Today is the 10th day after my previous blog post.. AND! SO many things have passed.. Let me tell you what. ^^ Out of a week, 7 days!!! 5 days were spent for the band practices to rehearsals to performances!!! Isn't it CRAZIFIED??? Hahahas. Oh, I'm so glad that week's over man!!! At least the following week's much better! Monday and Tuesday( which is today) IS A HOLIDAY!!!!! Ohyes, I hope I hadn't been wasting my time on the YOG performance though.. :\ Mdm Nava said I may not be able to participate just because of the result of my hair. x_x Right. I've got no say to this.. Well, after all, I'm just a student and a band member.... not anything else high up there, you see? ): I just feel so, Discouraged.

On a much cheerful note, the previous Saturday (7/Aug/10) was GREAT! Hahahahas, went to the Anglo Chinese School (I) for their concert. What I can comment on is that.. It's worth my 10 bucks. ^^ Well, on that day, I met Mr HengBingBing late afternoon and we had some food at mac. After that, aunt elsie called and said she'll be picking us up to go for the concert. While waiting for her to come, (haha) HengBingBing was practicing how to greet my aunt, grandmother and grandfather.. Not to mention his hands were all cold. :x Finally!!! They came, entered the car and the silly boii was so relieved. Sad thing he was so quiet throughout the trip to ACSI.. ): Hmm.. At the school, Jacqueline and Jeremy were waiting there. Hahahas.. Went in the auditorium together and.. The concert started. :p Most of the soloist screwed up. Esp the trumpeter, >< Too nervous? LOL. I heard they only had 2 weeks to practice. Well, and soon, there was the interval. Very surprisingly, the saxophonists put up a self-initiated performance for the audience during that period of time. They played Oh! from girl's generation. Impressive.. :p And of course at the end of it, the crowd cheered and clapped loudly for the section. :p

Skipskipskip~ Performance ended. HengBingBing, Jacqueline and Jeremy socialized with my family.. Some introduction here and there. Then Jacqueline and Jeremy went off, leaving HengBingBing with aunt elsie, uncle ben, aunt lilian, grandfather, grandmother and I. Waited for Cavin to change, keep his instrument, fall in and fall out.. Till he was released.. I think we waited for an hour or so.. x_x So long. Aunt Lilian and Aunt Elsie were questioning HengBingBing about himself, LOL. Stressful hor?.. :D When cavin was finally released, we went for dinner.. And by the time we reached the hotel, it was already 11++ Was sleeping in the car luh.. At the hotel.. There was a group of singers.. Haha~ Guess what, we still had to wait for the booking of seats. And after so long, we got to have our... SUPPER. Well, so much for waiting. THE buffet sucked!!!! Rice was cold and HARD. Dishes weren't really appealing as well. No one ate much except HengBingBing, my Grandfather and uncle. Hungry monsters. Actually it's because they were guys. :p Errr.. Count Cavin out. :p Had icecream.. Bingbing shared the 5 scoops with me. :D And after everything's done there, headed back le. Aunt elsie sent my grandmother back, followed by HengBingbing then me. (: Enjoyed the day a lot. (: I hope there's another day like that once more.

Hahahas, my post is gonna be long. ;p Today, I watched sorcerer's apprentice together with HengBingBing at iluma. (: Thumbs up for the show. ^^v

Well, there's school tmr!!!
All the best to me! And GOODnight!!

BusyBeeeee

First of all, I've been sick for almost a week already. It's all the many symptoms at once and it's so terrible because I do not have enough time to rest at all. Splitting headaches, an annoying flu, a dry and painful throat and ulcers... I must be really heaty. I need a break man.. But I can afford to miss a day of school - There will be too much to catch up with.

Secondly, I would like to share with you guys the fact that my school bag is never light. It's like I have stones filled in my bag when they are actually books. x_x Oh yes.. And by the way, I lost my POA file on Tuesday. ALL my notes for POA is inside and can you believe it? I LOST it!!!! Very important file.. ): Sigh.. Well, I borrowed Siling's file to photocopy the contents though, don't know how I'm gonna do it, but, I'll just have to. Urgh. It's A LOT of notes by the way.. ): Shoulders need a break from school.

Thirdly, I feel as though I may just break down or something. Homework, trying to listen in school even when I'm so sick and band practices. Everyday is just so tiring.. Sometimes I just skip my dinner and go to bed but my parents don't understand me. I don't have time for myself. I may not be able to cope anymore.

Anywayssss, I'm gonna summarize all the 3 paragraphs into one phrase,

I NEED A BREAK!
& Yes! my break is finally here!!!!! I love Sundays for now!!! I'm gonna pig for 12 hours. Goodnight!

When life is a bitter pill to swallow,
You got to hold on to what you believe.

& I'm trying to. Yesterday was the performance for some official opening of some park or garden. Urgh... Sometimes I wished things aren't the way they turn out to be. Ok - I screwed up. Forgot my gimmicks, played @ the wrong time and things just weren't right! What the hell was I thinking? Just thinking about yesterday makes me feel guilty and hope to turn back time.. Which I can't, of course, makes me feel like hiding away from everyone, for good. However, I still remember Atikah's message about a month ago.

" Though things will get rough at the start, adapt to changes and keep learning. Don't stop. Don't let others words bring you down. You stand strong by what you believe in most. I don't want you to have any tinge of regret once you leave band. Remember you're not alone in this. Don't lost hope. "

It was a super long message but definitely a meaningful one. I know I should keep this in mind but, sometimes I just can't help to feel so alone. Owell.. Anyway, Atikah's really an excellent band major..

I can't climb the mountains.

I wished I could hold a really loooong sigh..
Haha, that's if I can fill my lungs with unlimited supply of air, of course. (:Anyway, so many things have been in my mind, but when I think of it, I can't list them down. /: Why? Is it because they're too many things to list down? Or is it because I'm just feeling troubled? Or down? Or maybe unhappy with things? Could it be mood swings? Hahaha. Neh, I don't think it's any of the things that were listed down above. (:

I think I know my answer...
What I'm feeling now is; The Guilt Of Uncompleting My Homework.

Did you guess it? I don't think so. Teehee~

HALLO-MAO-PEEPO!!!^^v

Today I had a enjoyable day together with my maomao dardar!!!! :D
Things went very well today. :D Pictures I took with HengBingBing below!! :D










Hehehe, woke up early in the morning and around 11, he came over to my place. (: Uhh, I wasn't ready back then. x: So yeah, he had to wait for me. x_x Hehehe, shopped at illuma... $_$ The dresses there so chio!!! >< Din get anything there. Got my hairband there. x: o.o Pity it's an aircon-less area. :p Well, went back to the MRT station, where we had earlier on intended to go back le. My butt got glued to a seat okay? x: Chatted there for an hour or so. Then, went back le... x-x LOL.

I is happy!
Heez. ^^ Buhbyes!

School Days..

Hello, once again, I'm back to blogging! :D
Today I woke up early in the morning and I felt that I was so sick of school. x_x Probably it's the Monday blues bah.. Gotta catch up with school work!!! Meh. I feel like my brain can burst anytime.




For the past few days, I've been busy.. Just the 1st week of school, there was the SYF opening ceremony. We were released from lessons @ 12.30 pm or 11.30 pm for most of the days. Tons of work to catch up with was the consequence. x_x Gosh. & 2nd July was our 2nd year-sary.. Pity, something happened. Owell.. (: The 2nd week was more relaxed. (: I had more time of my own of course. (: And now today's the third week. I think I may not be able to stand it anymore. I've been feeling so sick today.. My mind couldn't think straight and I was having a headache. ): Band practice was on today. Right now practices will be 3x per week cos they added in the sectionals on Monday. I think I need a break!


Mamamia~ I've finally uploaded pictures. :x I know my blog is very picture-less. (:
Byebye people~ ^^v

ElloMello! :D

Today's the first day of term 3! Feel's nothing like the first day of school at all. :p Aniwaes, the thing about first days are that you're able to find people with different new looks around you~ ^^v Hmm... For example, Sheauqin wif bangggggs!!!! Dorothea also wiff BANGS!!! LOLxzs! :D Double bangbang?! :D WAHAHAHA! Mr. M's without hair.. And eyebrows. Where did they go to? O.Ov Hahaas~ Everything was just like how it was last time. Andand! I got my new timetable! (o.o)p *Thumbs Down~* Won't emphasize. Hehehehez. Din have my breakfast today.. )': SobSobx..

POA > D&T > RECESS!! :D > MotherTongue > Math > EndOfSchool!

Today I ended school early 'cos the auntiee from the food stall poisoned me! ): Is really cannot take it until I wanna go home. Hahahs, I had a badbadbadbad day today. )': Kept vomiting and vomiting and vomiting and vomiting. I threw out everything I ate. Ewwww. It was super disgusting!!!! anyone could've knew what I ate just at one look at it. ): I thought I could not have survived today. The most embarrassing thing is that I even vomited in class. ): Then the cleaner had to clean up after me. *~* People I must thank today: LiZhen for her tissue paper. (LOL, she was sitting beside me and was panicking) Vania for her company and mineral water, Aron for his phone, HengBingBing dardar for his company, and of course, my dad for bringing me to the nearest clinic, though he complained a lot. ME IS GRATEFUL TO ALL OF YOU! ^^ ThankYouVeryMuch!! At the clinic, I got an injection on my left arm. >< The pain was tolerable at least.

Anyways, Stomach is still hurting!!! ):< Need to rest oh!!!!!

Byebye people!!

Is School Reopening Tomorrow? o.O Sobxzxs~

Have you ever been humiliated?

Hahaha. Things aren't the way I had hoped it to be anymore.. Family, Friends, School... Etc. Life is tough on me y'know? I bet you wouldn't quite understand my situation, in fact, I don't even think you might even care.... Owell. I think I'm having bad luck now; or is it karma?... Did I even deserve this?

Anyway.. This is how it began. Was at ECP rollerblading with dar when I received a phone call from my mum saying that my aunt threw all my belongings outta the house. Definitely I was totally shocked.... like what the hell did I even do before I left home.. Yeah, I did not even know what was happening.. So yeah, quickly made my way back to 2nd home and found ALL, I repeat, ALL of my stuff packed in many odd plastic bags of sizes ranging from XTRA large to medium.. I was totally lost and did not know where to go.. or to even put all my things. Imagine how you'd feel when your things are all thrown out like how mine was....

Up till now, I still don't get why all this happened. But I was only told that my aunt quarreled with my grandmother on why my aunt allowed me to stay there in the first place... I don't know how it happened either. Did I do something wrong...? ): I feel that my grandmother is at fault for this... She's old already and since she has nothing else better to do, she finds trouble anytime.. She even said that she doesn't bother if I was beaten to death. But... Sigh. Right now I'm being mocked at by my parents.. That wherever I go, there's no happiness. Somehow, nothing seems wrong about that but I hate to admit it, the truth hurts. I'm being laughed at, I'm being looked down on.. Useless me.

Luckily dar helped to move my things back to where I originally stay at.. I really did not know what to do with all that mess.. I'm really grateful. Right now, I'll just try to avoid trouble with my father and try to save my own life... So yeah, unpacked the clothes, folded them one by one neatly, and put them where it should be.. Changed bedsheets... Yadadada.. Done. Except that I haven't brought back any of my books yet - it's too heavy.. At least I have my bag to go to school. There was a lil unhappiness between my sister and I because I was moving back and it meant I was gonna take up some space.. Has she forgotten that she has a sister? I really wonder...

Because my eye suddenly worsened one day before the Mid Year Examination, I had no choice but to consult a doctor.. But, no one was there to help me. Hesitant.. I called up my dad to pick me up. Of course he did mentioned " Got trouble only call your father.." in a very sarcastic tone... Sigh. Yes, he did bring me and I don't feel pain right now..

There was band practice today. I was really enthusiastic about it since it was after so long that there was band practices.. But.. I had already changed my doctor's appointment date to Friday, which was today.. and my father did not want to change it for me again.. It meant that I had to be absent for school on that day. Worried about many things, I had been thinking, whether to or not to go to school for a few days.. In the end, I went to school today to get my attendance taken. Yeah, unfortunately my dad insisted on bringing me to the doctor.. so he picked me up while I was in school. Did not have a choice but to go, luckily I had already taken my attendance - I could be back at school after that for band. (: Yeah, I was really looking forward, I did go back to school and rushed back before 1.30 but.... I guess I made a wasted trip today... I had been worrying about this too, days before because my conscience told me so. My conscience is right.

I made myself feel upset instead.

In the end, it doesn't really matter, does it?

I'm bored. Life has never been better anyway.

Happy 2nd 10th monthsary! ♥
Wahahaaa, it's our 1year&10thmonths today. ^^v
Today is a muchmuch better day than yesterday luh...

List of unfortunate events that happened yesterday: One eye spoil, Went out with two dogs, Didn't bring key nor wallet out.. Dogs barked at me, very noisy, Weather super warm, I was wearing black, Still got barked at, Couldn't stand them both, Go home no key, Stuck outside for 2 hours and 30 minutes approximately till grandpa was back. The end. (:

Yeah, so today was a much better day.. Unfortunately dardar still had to wait for me? >< Uhm.. Day turned out great? ^^ Unlike.. YESTERDAY?! Ohmygod.. I swear yesterday was like one of the worst days of my life.. though... I GOT MY BLING PHONE BACK...!!!! after like.. more than a month's time luh. -_- Sony errison IS lousy.. ): Repair also so long, spare parts also no have - Need to wait (-.-)v Is not I impatient luh, is really super long loh! ): Haiz, it's back le anyway, so, (: ............... I... Shall stop commenting on sony errison until it fails me again! ^^v

*Fingers crossed* Pls don't fail meeeeeeeeee T-T

^^v Whether it worked or not, I don't know.. ^^ But confirm will spoil again one!!!! (shows how muich faith I have in sony) WahahahhaHAHAHAHHA!!!~~~

Byebye~ Goodnight people!!!! Have a great day ahead!
I LOVE MY DARDAR!!!!!! ♥♥♥ ^^

I'M IN A GOLD BAND!!!!
And I'm extremely proud of that. (: Wheee~ the SYF's finally O-V-E-R!!!! Throughout all these frustrating months of this&that we finally clinched the well-deserved gold medal award.. (: MAN, IT'S OVERRRR! HAHAHAHA!!! On the other hand, the truth is that I've mixed feelings.. Being unwantedly stucked in Pit-Percussion for the first time many months ago, struggling with these batch of little annoying, troublesome, shy, problematic and quiet band members who I thought will never make it HERE. Yes, compared to last time, they've all grown very long horns. I can say that ALL of them became more talkative and uses their brains more. For example, Junkai. Though he may seem small and 'innocent', his chattery personality may surprise you. It's probably because of the fact that his brother, Junxiang, is in the same section as him. They're superduper playful when they're together. Hahahaha, Stella also has a lot of speak at times. Well, she doesn't actually talk in a normal tone like how we do.. She screams and/or shouts at people instead, Ohmygod, which leads more chaos in the section. Poor thing, is it how she is or.. ?!? O_O Well, more trouble? Why? Most people didn't like her tone, they thought it was rude... So... She always gets into quarrels with the section's most rebellious, Ain. Stella will never win her, thus, she will run off to somewhere else to cry and I have to go escort her back. Sigh, headache eh? Despite all these, the funny thing is that she only speaks nicely to me.. Wellwell... x_x GaAaaaah.. Ain WAS rebellious and UNCONTROLLABLE until that day where I remember, during the previous band camp. She was making a hell lot of noise, like how she previous did every practice in the PE dept room, everyone was trying to stop her, EVERYONE but.. Sigh. Mr Zhang came into the room and scolded all of us for making so much noise. Of course we felt blamed and disappointed for nothing. Mr Zhang not only scolded us, he dampen our moods by saying that the pe dept did not owe us anything but still had to lend us the room for our instruments which made the place look messy.. He added on that we band members THINK we're elites (-_-) And he said we'll never get the gold cos the performance duing sports days wasn't good. Blessings from a teacher? Neh I doubt so. Well, at least we proved him wrong, I think it will be enough to make him regret what he was saying to us that day. Back to point, after that incident, without a second thought, I literally screamed at ain and told her how upset the section has been with her behaviour. I regretted my actions because she cried, I'm such softie.. I thought she would quit but no, she woke up immediately and was much of a better person. I'm was so glad. (: Right now she's just talkative.

Hahahahaha, there were many other problems the section gave me, hahaha, and they'll be a part of my memory. The good thing about my section is that they don't give me attendance problems. (: Yesterday when the angklung members cried after watching the motivational video, I was so touched..... Cos they said they were crying because they'll miss me. LOL. Definately all of us have come so far and though they were ups and downs, I enjoyed this whole journey as an SL of pit percussion.

Haha, heyhey!
I think it was last week when my super bling phone's buttons were spoilt. Super depressed luh, so I happily made it worse by plucking out the whole set of buttons and so it came off. Took me a night plus the next morning to get it back into it's proper position luh.. Yeah, and so I did but... The buttons were like abit.. out? Den suddenly all the keys weren't working.... (-_-) Sent it for repair..
Back to using my previous brown phone. It's surprises me that it isn't dead yet, it looks like it's in super bad condition. Yeah, was smsing happily and.. IT FAILED ME. Gosh, like my bling phone, the keys also spoilt. -_- ***k.. WHAT IS THIS?!@?# I cannot sms or call now luh! ONLY can receive calls. Cos my phone's slide haven't spoil YET. I predict it will not work sooner or later. Zzz. I is damn the sian-ed luh. Want sms also cannot nawwww. T_T Stupid sony erisson -'-(-.-)-'- SCREWSCREWWW.

Oh yeah, today during the national anthem I sneezed. I swear I got into trouble for that. -_- Zzzz. Lazy to elaborate. Freak. I got into unnecessary trouble. Stupidstupid... Totally spoilt my whole morning!!!!!!! ARGHHHHH.!!! * Fills heart with hatred *. -.- Luckily Mrs Seah helped me..

2 more days? Yeah approximately.
Man, I can't wait till the SYF results are announced.

Here's something random. I got locked up in the band store yesterday. I was locked by by Joey.. -_- I swear I felt damn... *WTF!!!!!! O_O ... * Well.. ciaos.

HBL. Home-Based Learning.
; Yesh, it's a day at home for us Secondary 3 pupils. Bored to the max..
Switched on the computer.
Accessed the asknlearn webbie.
Logged into my account.
Clicked onto 'Lessons' arnd..................

Daydreamszxszxszxs.. Totally explains why I've never attempted my daily assignments or rather, to put it in the best way I can: I rarely do my homework. (: sounds better eh? Like any of your mommy... and/or daddy does, my mom makes a hell lot of noise when they often find you lazing around the house, computing or sleeping as though you have too much time on your hands. (Luckily I don't see her everyday. Unfortunately, there's a substitute for her nagging... X: ). Oooops. Did I say something wrong? (: Hey, it's absolutely NOT because I'm a lazy girl or because I simply refuse to do my homework! - I am just, T-I-R-E-D, okaaaay? T_T.. Yayayayaya, next thing you know, my mom will say " WAAAAaaa.....! EVEEERRRYDAY YOU TIRED ONE LAAHH!!@#^ ):< ".... And I was thinking, how do you even know when you don't see me everyday? HAHA! Well, I think she says that because she just loooooves saying that sentence, maybe she just has very limited ways of arguing with her daughter... Owell, that's my mom for sure, I understand her pretty well, I know she loves attention.... Sssshhh. (^^)v

Ytd, Physics > POA > D&T > RECESS!!!!! > Chem > History > LUNCH BREAK!!!!!! > Maths.
Lol. After school had oral examinations, both languages, english and chinese. The both timings crashed luh, the school's system is so corrupted so everyone was blur loh... What is this?!?!? So after my chinese oral, it was raining very heavily.. T-Tp Luckily dardar bought an umbrella. \(^0^)/ So wasn't as wet as I had imagined to be. ^^ Awwwww~ HEEHEEEZ <333!!!!!!!!!

Anywayxsz,
Long time no post pictures already. T_T
++++ Peanut phone spoilt. ZzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!! ):< ):<

I can see you stalking like a predator

Heheheee. Meh. I need to refresh my memory before blogging.
Ummmm, *Flashback, Flashback*.. On dar's and bryan's birthday, of course there must be saboing. (:

Aron & I bought flour from the mama shop right after school. *Note: 3 packets of flour. Sheesh, it's a long story luh. Well, waited for Mr Er to finish his oral examinations at the canteen. Uhhh, a lot of people were there, can't really remember, sorry if I missed out! X: Aron, Amelia, Jeremy, HuiMin, Tiffany, 2 of the triplets( I still can't differentiate which is which) and I sabo-ed Bryan. Well, wasn't really a success, at least Bryan got wet from head to toe with flour all over. He was running all over the school, from the canteen to the d&t block... I think he got to the second floor and back to the volleyball court area... and behind ms goh's homeroom. It was raining heavily and Bryan was in the rain so were we, cos we had to catch him, regardless. Well... for the fun of it. /: Unfortunately at that time, We were outside Ms Goh's homeroom and she was still having classes... So she saw the saboing and all. She went out of her class and I spotted her right away and immediately alerted the rest but... they were having too much fun. /: I went to wash up and all cos I had flour all over.

When I came back, I heard that the rest, except the 2 of the triplets were punished by miss goh. They had to stand outside the staff room for 3 hours till ms goh came back and had to do 60 jumping jacks. She's probably satisfied with all that punishment I hope. I wasn't caught? /: Funny thing is that no one named me out. Wow... Anyway, we had 2 packets of flour left. Don't know how it both landed up in WeiJian's and his friend's hands. Last thing I saw before I went up the bus with dar was that they were playing with flour..

About saboing and all.. Yeah true I can be lucky sometimes with people I can trust but looks like some people ought to be kept away from to avoid trouble.

These people are like lions in wait to pin their prey on the ground. They look for opportunity to attack or to strike at it's prey when it's possible. Even a lion cub can bite... In fact, it'll eventually grow up and become a lion afterall. How I wished lions aren't the king of the jungle. Where's the hunter when you need him?

Happy birthday dardar! ♥♥♥ ^^v
May today be filled with sunshine and smiles, laughter and love. (:

& also, Happy birthday bryanERRRR! (^^)
You shall not be sick today!
I guess it's time to give this blog a lil bit of life? Idon't know where to start. O:
Uh, it's the same thing that I do everyday. /: I don't see a point to blog? O: O: ^^
Well, there was a 1 week school holiday.
From day 1 to 4, I've been in band camp.
On day 5, I wasted more that half the day pigging.
Then, day 6 was spent for a whole day at school for band practice.
The last day was the second day of break for the band members, managed to complete only POA and Social Studies holiday homework with the limited time I have. After that went to Jurong and came back around 12.
Monday, a school day... Was really sleepy. Had band practice at NTU, missed thirty minutes of history and a full maths lesson.. it was raining heavily for really long..
Tuesday, band rehearsal at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. Cold.
Wednesday........ Zzzzzz ...... I should turn in now, bye. bye. bye.

Swallowed into history

Tortured by the past, trapped by the past, living in the past.
Yet, if there where a way out, then..

This term is about to pass by so naturally. Sad to say that my appeal to MTL B was turned down. Danggggg... I seriously can't cope with the many, or rather, MUCH profound chinese characters existing right now here in planet Earth. It's just that lady luck on was on my side last year that I could pass my mother tongue exam, not because I'm fine or whatsoever. Hmph. What a bore. Unfortunately, there's no way out for me. I'm unwillingly stucked with Chinese. ): Well, looks like I'll just have to do the best I can then. (: Firstly, I need a chinese-english dictionary..

Yes, I know my blog is dead. I just lost my interest in blogging.. ^^ Unlike last year? In fact, I'm busy like a bee. I have an annoyingly tight schedule and I don't have much free time on my hands. ):

Each and every failure gives me the strength to move on and work harder.

So much has occurred since my last update.
Are troubles really inevitable? Is it fate or what?
I guess people are more likely to make a stereotype of others and regard them as something far from what these people actually are.. Real far from who they are. It's frustrating to be judged by others based on first impression or whatsoever.. Sucks. Feels as though your life is the worst of the worst of the worstworst, totally unfair..... But it can't be helped. Today left me jaded and depressed.. I don't know why but I feel as though that the grass is much greener at the other end as far as I can see...... I feel so weak and pathetic like I don't have the strength to stand tall after falling anymore. It's not just one, but MANY problems I'm facing right now.. I need a miracle. Do you believe in miracles? /: Please... I'm not a machine, not a robot with no emotions, I'm not a genius, I'm not as smart as you'd think I'll be.. I'm not living a life of bliss, I'm having a hard life and lastly, I'm not perfect, like you are, we're both imperfect, as much as I can't expect you to understand me throughly, I can't understand the perfect way to satisfy you all. I'm sorry I'm so forgetful, I'm sorry I'm not focusing, I'm sorry I don't have all the time in the world, I'm sorry I chose this instead of that, I'm sorry I'm not reponsible enough, I'm sorry I'm so clueless to my surroundings, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry for troubling you all, sorry... sorry....... I'm not perfect. So much more to apologise to people around me..

I'm not looking forward to Chinese New Year.
I'm all alone. For the first time.

Explain this conspiracy against me

Heyheyhey! (: I guess it's time so give my blog some life.. :D
Hmmm.. : How long has it been since my last update? Approximately 26 days I suppose. :D
So far my life has been dull luh, that's why I felt that it's pointless to update. X: What to do? Right now, it's like school, school, band, school, school, school, band, band... And everyday I talk, I laugh, talk, talk, laugh, smile otherwise I'd be bored.. Moodless.. Annoyed.. Yadadadada.. And so the list goes on. YOU SEE? I IS REALLY DE BOH WEI GONG TTM ALREADY. There is nothing to blog about!!!!!!!! O: O: ):< Unless I'll be super long winded luh.. Something like.. Today I opened my eyes, blinked 3 times before getting outta bed. As I took my first step by foot of the day I then continued my second.. then third.. followed by fourth and the fifth... sixth... seventh.... _____th step and finally I reached the toilet. At the toilet, I then pulled down my pants to do my business and since I know this is none of your concern I shall stop this nonsensicle way of blogging and start blogging properly. (:

------------

I'm not planning to go to the sec 3 camp for some personal and other reasons.. I hope my teacher would understand though.. ): I hope. Puh-leeaaaseeee, pray for me.. Thank you very much. {:

Byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye!!!!!!

Today's the ninth time in the year that I went to school to study. :D
Hahahaha, I got used to schooling like instantly, right from the first day of school.

The timings for all school days, Mondays - Fridays are like so different from last year.. ENDS SO LATE! ):< Excluding Friday, cos it's standard. Like always, it ends at 12.30. In fact, it doesn't make much of a difference on that day because band practice is scheduled on Fridays. ): Urgh. I find it so hard to manage my time now that I no longer end my lessons at 1.30. Omg! I miss those days where I find myself being too free after school, gathering around as a group in the canteen, chitchatting, eating.. Yadadadada.. ): So many changes luhhh. One of the worst changes I'm facing and TRYING to adapt. Yes, my BOOKS! The books are so heavy & bulky now! So many things to bring luh. Even I'd give it a second thought about not bringing my books because without those books, I'm bound to miss out a looooottt of things. ): HatehateHAAATE it!!!! MY BAG IS LIKE A TURTLE SHELL LUH. SO BIG. AND HEAVY. Why don't the schools have lockerszxczxczxc?!!? Lol, nonsense luh, as if the school will be so kind as to provide us with lockers. :p .......... Okok, ignore me, I know I'm complaining a lot. Hehehheeeee. ^^

TODAY! Hmm, today is Tuesday.. o.o The best thing about today is that my bag wasn't as heavy as the day before. A normal school day. :D Oh, in the morning I got barked at, UNREASONABLY, and I was totally not happy with it. COME-ON, I know he was my secondary 1 maths teacher and he knows who I am. He assumes that I'm the same person as I was in secondary one and judges me wrongly. -.-! In fact, he misjudged me 2 years ago luh. Even on the first day of school, he hesitated to allow me to go to the toilet, he didn't trust me. He thinks I'm like some typical ahlian that will go roaming around the school compounds after giving teachers the excuse of going to the toilet. -.-!!!! OMG. Back then I urgently needed to piss to badly luh, but still, he hesitated, he asked me for my handphone, cos he thinks I'll be using my phone aferthat. BUT! I don't even have my phone with me!!!!!!!!! IT WAS IN MY BAG!!!!!! -'-(-.-)-'-(-.-)-'- (-.-)-'- ....... This is the problem of having the same teacher as you did before. It's really sickening. ZZZ! YEAR NEW? NEW START? MY FOOTTTT! This isn't even a NEW start at all luhhhh... Tsk...... It's just too unfortunate that I'm being judged from previous records..

First day of school, I found myself a lil ill, so I slept and when I woke up, my throat was burning and I had a slight fever. Second day of school, I had a bad flu, used like 5 packets of tissue and they were supplies from friends around me.. Ehehehe, I feel bad. X: BUT, third day of school, my flu didn't heal, so same thing.. Kind people were giving me their packets of tissue paper.. And up till now, the flu is still a nuisance, it still hasn't healed yet! Today when I was running my four rounds in the field, it was so hard to breathe in air luh, IT FELT SO UNCOMFORTABLE.... ~!@# And I'm a failure at gymnastics! D': BOOHOOHOOOOO!!! I'm not flexible, you see? Well, but that won't make me loose my enthusiasm. ^^v
Hmmm, CCA carnival was on Saturday. O: Had to reach school by 6.15, so yeah, was in time. Performperformperform and it was total highness when it was the drumline performance. Hohohoho! ^^ Ohoh.. And I'm pretty sad that some secondary ones ran away upon my approach. D: Tsk. What an insult! HAHAHA! I don't bite. :B

Ohoh, it felt so weird today. As in, after my class, it was already 3.30+ ? The band members were sectional-ing. As I walked past them, knowing that I'm not supposed to go for band on tuesdays, as I walked out of the school gate while listening to all the musical instruments being played by individuals, IT FELT SO AWKWARDDD!!! Mmmmm, something I have to get used to. O:

Just you wait and see.

My 2010's New Year Resolution:
I'll show my dad that I'm better off without him!

School Day.

Homagawwwdddd. School. Is. Re. Opening. To. Mor. Row. AndI'mNotMentallyPreparedAtAll. ):
*Shudders..* Like after so long, I'm finally gonna hold a pen, open a book, sit in a classroom with a teacher in front, wear my school uniform, go for assembly in the morning.. So, this goes on and on and I'm gonna experience it, TOMORROOOOWWWWW. Hm, I kinda miss going to school for lessons though.. In fact I've forgotten how it goes. All I know is that sweet food keeps me alive in classes. Owell.... Heeheehee. :D

This year, I bet it's gonna be different, because I'm not living with my parent nor sister anymore. I'm living with my aunt, grandma and grandpa instead. Hmmm, of course the environment and facilities in my own house is better than my current home but the atmosphere isn't. Anyway, things aren't really going smoothly and perfectly for me in my life right now, I feel lost and lonely, like in a world of my own.. I also feel picked on, used and too highly expected of. Sometimes I wished I could find the right person to speak to. I told Ebi but he wasn't the right one, he just makes me feel worst by blaming himself. -_- So I decided that I should keep my lips sealed and not speak to him about anything troubling me.. X: Well, this doesn't mean I'm hiding anything from him okay?! After some time, I've finally realised,'what's the point' ? I've finally woken up and realised that all this time, I've been dreaming too much and hoping for the impossiblities. Even my efforts are put to waste - no one recognised.. When I rearranged my priorities, clearing off the impossible dreams aside/forgetting them and work towards new goals, that's when they thought I was changing for the worst... becoming a different person that I wasn't before, she saw me as 'problematic', sticking out from the rest and said I wasn't putting in enough effort and I had a wasted potential. No, she did not understand me she isn't the understanding sort.... She asked me 'when are you going to wake up?'... I couldn't answer her. The truth is, I've already woken up, and I see that everything is pointless, I gained nothing... I couldn't tell. I'm not as blur as what she said I was, I just needed time to reach perfection, but no, she said I wasn't putting in enough effort. No, you're wrong. I believe it takes interest to be able to do something well, in the first place, I was moved unwillingly just because I had a different background from the rest but I didn't have a choice. Now you see why? I was forced. But it doesn't matter, I got over that issue, everything was fine at first, I did all fine. And then... The unhappiness began. It was a different piece of paper I had to look at and my hands had to move more on the different blocks of wood I had to tap on from before.. It was difficult to find the right time to fit in with the rest and needed countless attempts to be correct. I wanted to give it a try. But one day, I was stopped because my previous responsibility that was given to another couldn't continue like how it was supposed to be. I got shot at. I wasn't given the change to explain. But seems like those people don't understand me, or perhaps they've expect too much from me. I'm not that strong you know? I'm a human just like you are, I've feelings. It's too pressurizing that I feel as though I can break down right away. Please, make things change, but I know you don't understand what I'm trying to say. And even if so, what can you do? Unless you're one of the people contributing to this unhappiness..

She's says she wants to speak to him.

A new year, a new start

Back from the 4 day 3 night band camp. (:
No more sleeping in sleeping bags on the hard ground. No more bathing in cold water. No more being woken up by a bass drum, though throughout the 3 nights I woke myself up, it shocked/irritated me. Overall, it was a band camp you can expect, except that it was a lil different this time because I'm no longer with the band, marching from formations to formations. It's like a feeling of being left out somehow..

Anyway, I've always thought that being in pit percussion section was chicken feat until I experienced it myself. One of the many problems that's really frustrating is to move the instruments around.. Ahmad has already moved over to marching percussion so there're only 2 guys and 5 girls left, plus Carmel who was helping out a whole lot. Thanks. (: Whenever we had to move up or down the staircase, we definitely needed help cos we were too weak and can't do without those helpers. I find it really nice of those really kind people that bothered to help us even though they're not from our section. Sigh. I can't stand up while carrying the xylophone, not to mention the marimba.. Carmel and I were trying to be independent but it shows, we can't. Basically, we were trying to carry the marimba down to the first floor, we managed to lift it up but..... it slanted to the right and soon, it toppled down..... ): Luckily nothing's wrong with it after that incident. I'm still not used to standing so long while playing the instrument. After some time, my heels will feel as though it were burning up and it hurts. I'll hope I'll get used to it soon. The sun, yes, we still have to face the sun, it's the same. I'm a lil tanner than usual now, I don't mind but the tanning is uneven. O-O HAHAHAHA! Owell.. I don't expect much anyway.. (: Oh, yes, the angklung people joined us during the camp for lesser than a day and... they're reallyreally friendly, three girls especially, Amanda and Liana(?) and Shab..(?). Uhoh, I forgotten the third girl's name, but I remember her telling me that I should remember her name by 'Shabby', hahahaha, they disturb me like crazy in the fun way. (: They learn really quickly and refuse to give up. Right now, they're one of the reasons that I'm happy being in pit percussion. I can't wait until the next time we can play our instruments with them again, the following Thursday? :D

Oh yes, as it was the 31st of December that the band camp ended, 1st January was right after that day, so yeah, even though I was already worn out, regardless, I still had to go for countdown because I was already looking forward to it from so long.Went home, and got ready to go out. Ebi was waiting so long for me, he said he gave me up to 8, that's why. X: Had dinner at mac and went to marina bay for countdown after that. (: We were like camping at one corner... HAHAHAHA. Eventually, the clock striked twelve and there I was with Ebi right beside me, admiring the fireworks display, surrounded by bangladeshees, everywhere. Wow. *Cough. Coconut oil? Okay, though there was this stupid tree in front of me, blocking the fireworks, I could still see most of the whole display, it was beautiful, but that wasn't the thing... (: After it all ended, went into the MRT and it was FLOODED with people. Omg. Most of them were... -_-. It was damn stuffy and smelly. Finally we got into the train and I dozed off, Ebi couldn't due to some reasons. :p So yeah, Ebi sent me home. The end. :D

HAPPY NEW YEAR