Lost

Once in a while, I'd like to type out my feelings here on my internet diary..

I find it harder to smile with my heart these days. I don't mean to, but.. I just can't anymore. Too many things have been troubling me. In school, I feel the most depressed. Sometimes I feel as though I cannot cope anymore - I just feel like giving up but my conscience tells me not to. I've been so stressed out with school work, project, exams. Not to mention, my piano exam is round the corner and  I HAVE to pass it. I cannot afford to fail this time.. Especially not at grade 8. I can't help but to feel so negative. Maybe I just need a break. Maybe I need someone to comfort me. But, who will be there for me?.. Even I myself have problems trying to express my own feelings..

Friends..? It is just a word or something much more, I wonder?

So.. What are true friends?

I remember something about someone being there for you when you need them. Someone who values your friendship the way u value theirs'..

Do I have true friends?

I'm often surrounded by a group of friends, but I wonder if they are true to me? Truthfully speaking, I feel sometimes, I give too much and receive too little in the end. Is it all worth it in the end? Have all my efforts gone down the drain? Possible. I feel unhappy... In fact, I feel lonely most of the time. Maybe I'm just trying too hard to please everyone that in the end, I'm at the losing end.